Kinky, Nerdy, Science...


Life *is* a cabaret… but there are limits!

I’m a slob:

There are days that I don’t shower.  There are days (okay, sometimes weeks) at a time that I don’t shave my legs.  I’m gross.  But I do know when to turn it on:


Which is why it really surprises me that some people just don’t know where and when it’s appropriate to be all gussied up.  And I’m not talking about the people who put on full glam makeup at the supermarket.  I mean, sometimes you’ve just gotta look good.  I’m talking about the people who are OCD about looking good ALL the time.

You must know some of these people - they’re the ones who won’t let their serious boyfriends see them in the morning without their makeup.  Today, I ran into one such girl, and it really got me thinking.

I was at the pool getting ready for laneswim in my decrepit bathing suit (seriously, I’ll give it another two weeks before my boobs or my ass falls out!) when I see this woman step out of the change room in a hot pink string bikini.  Bear in mind that this is all occurring at my local community center, which understandably is a highly glamorous place filled with sagging old women and middle aged men and women who spend 10 minutes in the shallow end picking their noses and washing it off in the pool.  Gross.  So you’ll forgive my confusion at seeing a glam queen in a Malibu Beach Barbie bathing suit step out of a change room.  She was pretty in her own right - mid 20’s, great legs, bit of a saggy mid-section (I wouldn’t have opted for a bikini personally), KILLER long, curly brown hair with meticulous highlights.  I watched her walk out of the changeroom, quickly apply some foundation to her face (which unfortunately was her worst feature - she had a frowning mouth) and hop in the shower before hitting the deck.

Naturally, I was curious about why she’d go to such lengths to look good for what amounts to the geriatric swim hour (the noon lane swim).  I followed her out onto the pool, and thought I’d better keep an eye on her in case hilarity ensued.  Unfortunately I don’t have contacts anymore, and can’t see much without my glasses… but I did see her meet up with her boyfriend - a big athletic build (think heavyweight wrestler) who was an obnoxiously fast swimmer.  I know that he was her boyfriend because they MADE OUT in the deep end.  She was in the slow [read: geriatric] lane and every time he caught up with her in the fast lane they’d stop and make out.

Really, who are you trying to impress?

I guess what I’m getting as is that I find it very revealing when people act out like that.  It’s not saying much about your self-confidence levels and I find myself saying (to myself): “I’m one of the dumpiest people here, and I can clean up to dead sexy in about 20 minutes” … but knowing when it’s appropriate is important.

So I guess I don’t feel too bad about being a slob, and it’s nice to surprise people with the amount of sexy that this dumpy little chick can bring. ;)